It's All About Me
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
*Sigh*
I Love H.I.M.
Why does that make me sad. To the point of tears. And NO i'm not pregnant.
I enjoy him too much. Way too much.
My car got raped. Yes I said Raped. They gutted out the dash of it, ripped it out and took off with it...popped my trunk and stole all its contents. Leaving it undrivable, open and cut wires everydamnwheres. The funniest part is that the CD player deck they went to all that trouble to rip off, well, its been broken for over a week. Ha ha ha.
All day I was pissed, dealing with cops, insurance jackers who wont give me a rental car while my whip gets fixed...because their agent fucked up my type of insurance, but they will gladly help me correct that, however it wont affect this claim. Fuckers.
All this money I have to pay for the deductible, the rental, and for a new amp/sub since mine wasnt able to be claimed due to more sneaky insurance loopholes.
And BD behind on two months of child support.
Like a knight in shining armor, my AJ came through that night. I was already smoked up and deep into Scar.face. Feeling like I had lost my best friend.
He jumps in the crib and kisses me crazy, talking about how his poor baby is....me! LoL..wow.
Been keeping my spirits up, helping me plan and strategize, taking me for a massage to get my neck fixed (ALL my stress is there) then out to eat at my fave spot. A bunch of food and some good ass Bellini's later...I stare at him as I feed him a fajita by hand...yes yes y'all he be eating out my hand...oooh. nothing could have made me happier. He and I clown and joke, talk, dream, and get along like soulmates.
He drives me home since I am his, he been my ride all day. Comes in the house. As I handle something, I realize he is gone.
I walk into my bedroom, the lights low, he is topless and surfing the net on my laptop. My heart stops. He is so beautiful. He looks up at me, smiles, and with THOSE eyes...draws me into a hug, pulling me under the sheets. Holds me close and my world is all right.
He is at ball. Playing with his boys. He left about an hour ago. I know I love this man. It is killing me.
Why does it hurt. Why do I painfully watch Mary J 'Be With You' and a tear threatens to roll out.
Because we haven't moved past being.....'friends'...
..There's the phone...He's coming back.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Un-Break My Heart...
My four year old, the owner of my heart, my constant companion in crime and war...my best lil friend...my baby. I would die the worst death for her. My sunshine on the stormiest of days. My reason for living, for working, for enduring school. For her I left her father, to show her what self-respect is when a man is doing wrong....All that I do for her...She walked up to me totally unprovoked and states "I want to live at Daddy's all the time and I don't want to live here anymore. I want to live with just him by myself."
I am not a crier, but the tears came fast.
5 minutes later she came up and said she wants to live with me all the time...so maybe she is just talking without full comprehension...but still...
as the title says....